Falling In

Twirling in the shadows
Found in a pool of shade
Frivolous in the obscurity
A ballerina of the oblivion
I am but a speck within this intangible grey
And yet its very essence
A delightful paradox in my own existence.

This vessel half full
Having spilt the shadows from the light
Offers unspoken refuge
Or unflinching release
The seconds linger in a pondered moment.. Do I fly?
Or drift, unmoven

Sometimes I think falling in is the only way out.

Hawas

Solid in the darkness
Shadows crept upon the light
She can't turn to liquid or dust
Or waver in the wind
Opting to merge with it or accept all it offers.
Can wind really carry this lust -
Soaked
Drenched
From the trenches of skin?

Flesh is too deep to convey
The featherweight of the fire.
It weighs so dragging
Yet only encompasses breadth like sound
Empty in matter
Yet saturated in existence.
It is a way to live
But not the only way
And such a cost of time
From the mind.
To slither through the silken sheets
Once released
That is its actual spending -
In currency of the body
Through the vessel of the skin
To sink as it rises further
Deeper to the peaks of ecstasy.

Apples
Caresses
Grapes twirling down a long vine
A lingered touch
A long slow breath -
Let it whisper this plenty
While you surrender your senses
To the quicksand that is
This insatiable longing
Absent of Love,
Blind passion
Slave to the carnal fury
Dwelling at the surface
Of a sweltering heat
Building within,
Only to break
In the realization
That this is a fraternal echo
Of your authentic desire
To be held
Like you are the only one
To make her feel alive in your warmth
That resonates from the riverbed of your heart
To let her being seep into yours
Like a whispering rain
To know the dance of the sensual from the false
To finally arrive
At the blissful union
Of two becoming one.

To Be Embraced Like That

Do you know what it is like to be held
Close, and tender
An all encompassing embrace?

The kind where your hearts align
And suddenly you feel an incredible expanse
As though you feel the whole Universe between you two
Emanating out...

The kind which surrounds you with warmth
And pours it within
Reaching a deeper dimension
Where it doesn't stay limited to a physical feeling

The kind where you're so connected your Souls touch
To exist untouched by anything else
In a consortium of joy
Love, and exalted harmony.

Where you actually feel what it is to lose yourself in the moment
In that feeling
In the sheer breadth of that space in time
Experience the moment live and breathe with you
And gently sigh with the weight of the shared calm you both hold.

To be embraced like that

Clasped,

To live like that, in a compound moment -

I think that's what we need.

Could You Hold Me Whilst I Weep?

Could you hold me whilst I weep?
My being requires to crumble
To splinter
Utterly shatter
Before it can phoenix again.

My heart has clutched on to strength too long
Scotch-taping itself at every instance
Bleeding through the cracks
Yet soldiering on
Silently
Lest someone suspect anything.

'Tis a monumental task
To breathe while your breath is leaking
And maintain pretense
That all is traveling well.
'Tis like shouldering a mountain
Balancing each layer of hardened tears
And painting a smile
On a struggling face.

I've just been holding on
To each fragment
Each thread
Each microscopic piece
Of the web of intertwined responsibilities,
Even to the intangible pressure
Of the building pain
Whilst they all pulled at me from impossible directions.
I had to.
I couldn't allow collapse
Even momentarily.
The only thing to do
Was to consciously take a step
And then another
And another -
Forward.
Bending,
Only to not break.

But now
The timer has gone off
The effort can cease
I can trough
I must
To being the process to crest again.

All I ask is
Could you hold me whilst I weep?

Shades of Grey

Can we be shades of grey
I want to live in your spectrum
Rejoice in the sunlight of your smile
And to wipe away your frown
When you're trapped in anger
Can I swim in your peace
And we can divide the melancholy bits
Can we live it all
Without having to choose
Can we be simple and complex
Can we be shades of grey?

Would you let me in
When you're feigning bravery
And let me shoulder some of your pain
You don't have to do this alone
Let yourself fall
And allow me to gather your fragile fragments
I'll piece you back together
With my love and strength as the glue.
And I'll be your banister as long as you need one
No matter how steep your life's stairs are
And don't be a fool
You need someone to hold on to
Just don't fight it
And hold on to me
I will see you through

Let us quarrel
Argue till we're spent.
Go ahead
Cut me with your words
Let it out
Let me be your release
It's OK
I'll get back up again

Grant me audience to your laughter
I will sync my smile with yours
I will fuel your amusement
And afford you further reason to chuckle.
And the sun may set
And rise beyond the morning
But we will be constant
In mirth
I guarantee it

Come
I have happiness to spare
Let us bask in the breadth of this joy
And let it envelop us
Till we don't know where I end and you begin.
We can fly
On this magic carpet of bliss
Such a things exists
And I will take you there

And when you're cold
And weak
And falling out of strength
Unlock the door
I will surround you with my care
And heal you back to stability.
There is no disease
That my love can't cure
And I will lay me down
So that you can stand back up

When you crave stillness
I will halt
When you desire solitude
I will disappear
I understand space and silence
And how it will replenish you
I will give you what you want
Even if I can't give it to you

If I feel you, I feel it all
It can't be just the merriment
Or the misery alone
And I don't want to choose
To only love you
Or not to love you at all.

Can we not be black and white?
Can we be shades of grey?

Clever Old Chap, Isn't He?

I'd like to purchase some time
To render it as a gift
To a loved one
So they may spend it as they please.

Can you guide me to the Time Office?
Oh, you can't? You're getting late?
How delightfully ironic... (Chuckle chuckle)
It's a shame how we allow
All these useless 'necessities' to fill our time space
We can't get enough work done during the day
And begin digging it out from the night
We leave the night behind
Only to wake and join the race again
Deplete our breath and our hours.

We can always make time, right?
For the things that matter?
Oh, now I'm making you laugh?
Does time even matter?
We're content to spend the wealth we accumulate
Yet don't realize
The lengths of time being run through
And spent
We can't accumulate time
To spend at leisure
What a delicious paradox...

It's so mysterious
How we can't exist without time
Where would we be?
We couldn't be born
To gather age
And experience
Forgo tragedies and heartbreaks
Allowing time to heal those wounds...
We couldn't count the hours getting longer
As the the sun stretches the Summer days
And splashes the warmth in our faces.
No, we can't be without His Highness.

But how frivolously easy it is for him to go on without a conscious thought
He can bleat for a flash of a second
Yet he can rule for centuries on end
He exists in eras
And eons, counted by the days
He doesn't even blink
When we've joined him
Lived in his ecstasy,
Or surrendered his presence
When our physicality drops...

I'm sure he records everything somewhere
And secretly flips through those pages
For a spot of entertainment
At some point in time..
Oh wait...
That doesn't make sense, does it?

And when we're not looking
He'll have some fun of his own
He'll hasten his pace, hare inspired
Or crawl no quicker than that darned tortoise
Playing both entities
Yet making us the players in the race
His game

Clever old chap, isn't he?

And if you question him
I'm sure he'll wear a straight face
While he guffaws in amusement on the inside

He's a sly one, he is
Yet the only one
Who is truly with us
From the second we arrive to the second we depart.
Maybe if he'd cut us a break from time to time...
Tsk
Oh dear, I've done it again...

Wiley old fellow is he
Causing us entrapment in his games
But you have to hand it to him
He's always synchronized, eh?

Alright, alright, you get back to your musings
Thanks for lending an ear, though.

Oh, you weren't?

Of Source And Soul

Seek not and realize not
Divide and scatter the mind
Abandon its sense despite the senses
And let it wander around blind

Attempt not to deconstruct that
Which was created to exist as one
It bore transformation, yet altered not
Its essence can't be undone

Let the faculties perceive the beyond
And realize an end lacking
Standing in a perpetual Now
Without the edges cracking

It is alive, but imitating life
It's like a universe, without the changing
It is sustaining on shared breath
Without the constant rearranging

Its expanse derives from its eternity
It is a Now, it was Now even then
It births from a Now to dissipate into a Now
And loops back to Now once again

Protracted into greater glory
The Collective Soul shines
The Source of all that emanates
Through distance covered in time

Projected truth in a solid dimension
Assimilated by transparent rays
Allow the immersion from the Within to the Source
Transitioned through timeless days

Arrive to exist, as part of the assembly
Your Nature is now Divine
You are surrounded and built of Source and Soul
Merged into One, sublime.

Language

They are using different languages
But are speaking the same words
Translation is just the skin
The interpretation rides on

Speaking the syllables of a smile
The metaphors of touch
They delve far beyond where mere meaning begins to congeal
Her lips move, purse and part
And he hears their rhythm
His eyes blink, flicker and miss
And she's read his story

Their instruments of expression rest on the intangible
Through poems of embraces
And sonnets of caresses
Through phrases of togetherness
Breathing through the pauses
And punctuating each breath.

Their grammar consists of peace
Stitched together with limericks of trust
Spun out of the yarn of affection
Their verbs are synonymous with Love
Creating and distributing all its forms
Dyeing in, shades of harmony
Into their exalted fabric of Life.

Their speech is a but a look
A thought
An intention
Conveyed through wordless prose
And tranquil wonder
Spoken through brackets of voice
And saturated silence.

Each letter
Of each gaze
Narrates the strength of their story
They complete each others sentences
Without the words to speak
They know the conversation of feelings
And the blind communication of Love
Because understanding goes so far beyond words
Beyond forevers
Beyond translations
They know
And that is their only language.

Transition

Let not this transition faze you
After all, you are only crossing a bridge
It may steep up or drop down to challenge you
But it certainly will not divide
Because it staples together the moments of your life
And you just need to trust its flow.

Hold on, even though you feel yourself lacerate
Because this passage will only be as far as you need it
Before you see land again
And can step off its ropey, rocky platform
And fall into balance again.

It is unstable
But only because it was meant to be
Because it connects sound platforms
It follows the law of the calm before the storm
And the storm before the calm.
It doesn't attempt to frighten you
Although that is how it may feel
But it is only a phase
Like the moon changing shape.

It leaves what was once before
Altered
For better or for worse
On the road ahead
And it is up to you to mould it
To sharpen its edges
And make it fit that empty space.

It functions like a seam
Even though it is seamless
And relies on its invisibility to grab hold
And lead you forward.
Fear not it's presence
For you are only moving ahead
And this sweet flat spot
On the linear face of Time
Is the only way to get there.

Unclench

Let us not clutch
To the yesterdays of our lives
Dispense with all the rubbish left over
After squeezing the positive dry.

Cold
Is akin
To the Present that has past
Distinguishing the potential
Of the next
As warm, in texture.

Choose
Not to swim
The pneumatic swirls of the gone too long
For, the phobia of cementing
Into the cold
Can freeze even the bravest lion heart.

What is now
And what you can make of the nows to come
Should be the only interference in the pond of your imagination
Delve into the past
Only for inspiration
Of its all encompassing teaching
And battle on
In the forest of the unknown
Lap the shores
Of what is to come..

Unclench
The fear.

Chosen

And she

Whose partnership with life
Spanned perhaps a single batch of seasons
Within in a circle
Selflessly offered her most precious belonging
Through Love
Into the folds
Of the Divine Blanket of Light
Considered it spent
In sacrifice
As if entirely on loan
In the purest, most ultimate attempt to teach
Of the limitless strength
Welled deep within the Spirit
To be recognized
Developed
And drawn
The way liquid fills a straw
When one attempts to drink
Filling the vacuum
Comprising the pain and shadow darkness
And restoring a semblance of acceptance
No matter how frail
To build upon.

Let not this experience
Steal your faith in Love
Your stronghold on the Path of Providence
Let it not snatch your will to feel
Pleasure or pain
And leave behind your senses.
Carry no burden
Of this incomprehensible loss
But allow for your Soul to breathe in
Its meaning and purpose.
It is not a punishment
But the strongest opportunity
Brought about by the most tremendous of Souls
Surrendering her breath
To demonstrate he lesson
Insuring your growth into the Light
And decanting the truth
Through the most supreme of promises
Dealt to you all
Along your journey.

You were rich for her presence then
For her life was solely for you
And her radiant glow continues to burn
Igniting your strength
With the stamina of understanding
Illuminating your road ahead
And enriching your Soul
The way only she could
The reason for which she was Chosen.

Determination

To breathe, and to be free
Unburdened by the pressures of worry
To arrest the clout
That may have stored itself
In barnacles of uncertainty
And dejection,
To elate
The Spirit and the senses
So they may relish the exhilaration
Of being born
In this here and now,
To strangle fear
In its tracks
And reject rejection
No more submission to abuse
Inflicted or derived
Rebel against their currents
And stretch into a new subsistence
Laser sharp strength
Resilient and focused
To conquer
And sublimate
To rely, unwithholding -
On Courage, unsuppressed
On Faith, concentrated
On Breath, unfiltered
To never submit
To a lesser force
Or external force
To weakness
Or impatience
But to soldier on
Driven by resolve
By passion
Bordering on obsession
To wash out superstition
Desperation
Accusations
And so-called warnings
Fed by ignorant minds
And lead on
Further on that path
Where your strength fires you on.
You don't give up
Because it is everything that you succeed
Imperative.
Your Soul will offer
And accept
Nothing less.
When this Light is guiding you
You will reach that summit
That destination of brilliance
Because this determination
Composed from such a source
Will deliver no less.

Windcheater

No more scars to be etched

Within the flesh of my raw emotional armour

I wear my windcheater against your words

Your whip and sword

And watch your might dilute.

Staring into your eyes

I no longer see the black

The unfiltered darkness

The curses of the world,

The rain of comprehension

Has drained my eyes clean

There's no mirror in your eyes anymore

My heart doesnt beat through your gaze anymore

Nor do the seasons rise and fall

Rivers breathe and flow

Winds bend and break...

Mysteries aren't wonderous anymore

No more

Not those represented lies

There are no more valiant acted-battles

Nor are there false tributes

To your trust in me

At least I learned

And learned to repair

Before the flood of this betrayal

Massacred my ability to reboot my heart and mind

Refresh and reload

Before the concrete set.

Innocence in its depth

Love in all its brilliance

Mirth from all its infinite quarters

Were poured back into my core

The dirt of the pain

The torture

Was decanted

And dusted

With all the apprehension and suspended confusion

To regenerate

Rebuild

Replenish

Burn forward and out

Into a continuation

A divine oblivion

Restored.

Life Is Lived

It is possibly the whirl

Of the seasons and the tides

Of rain and shine

Of waxing and waning

And circles within the mind

That shelter us

From the parallel to life

Its pair and opposite.

It is perhaps growing accustomed

To witnessing cycles and loops

Of each day and its reverse

That throws us into conundrum

When a halt appears.

No need for thought

No need for words

No use for desire

No use for change

Holding no purpose

For fire and cold

For the wind and sun

For the senses

For the shell,

The tangible and intangible

All are but the same now

Existing on a non-existent plane.

No use for breath

For time

For space,

That too

Falls in the same pocket.

Perhaps it is the permanence of death

Which is what stuns.

It drains the sense

And reason

From the self

Because dipping the pen in this ink

Once

Paints everything black

Blank

Into the endless.

But this is not an opportunity to crumble

Drenching yourself with despair

With unbent reason

With the distress of sorrow

With insane grief.

No.

This position is a farce

As untrue as a night with sun

And a breath without air,

Because you never truly leave

You were here once

And will be beyond

Translating death, in fact, to be

Nothing.

Death is not an end

It is simply a pause

Realized or unrealized

Rolling out its red carpet

Before the Soul begins to beat again.

Estranged from Life

But only for a moment

The Soul repletes

To be reinstated

And sanctioned

Into the living.

This state is not to be mourned

It is to be rejoiced and honoured

For a life dwells on through its life

Each second spent

Replenished

And cherished.

You live on through the photographs of the memories in each mind

Cradled within the Unseen Eye

Each frame of each breath

Now a treasure

And pleasure

To perceive.

You persist and subsist

Through the sheen of your sparkle

Your verve

Vivacity

Resplendent with each heartbeat

Shared with each Soul.

Animate

And shimmering

Your life sings

As it is born each day

Shining as the sun shines

Upon a deep blue sky.

No force

No matter how dense

Can consolidate life into a box

And conceal it

Behind the wings of unliving.

Life is lived.

It is cherished

And smothered with passion

And breathed

And relished

And delighted in.

Infinitely.

Nothing can take that away.

Snapshot

A breach

Subtle as a breath

Whisks a fraction of time

Away from its stream

Leaving behind a silent frame

In the wake of its run.

Surrounding the stillness

With a wisp from memory

Lies this magnificent trick

From the present

To graze the past

And smile the light of day

In futures to come.

This pause

Symbolic

And deliberate

Endures

Living through each moment

Deepening its well

Of character and life

Of mystery and wonder

And displaying that catch of a second

Cupped in the hands of Time.

That snapshot

Weathered and rusted

Clutches that sacred fragment

Of the occasion

Designed by the moment

To outlive its existence

And to persist the breadth of each new day

Sharpening its splendor

And washing all those

Gazing mutedly within it

With delicate ecstasy

Diffused by the unmalleable reality

Of a Present, from the Past

Playing like a projection

And perceiving the miracle

That Change,

Time's old mate

Devises.

Each particle

Solidifies in the mind

To create its brilliant station

As a recollection

Sanctified

And accomplishes its absolute

In function

Intention

And purpose.

This animate spot

Spills into a tranquil halt

To be perpetually frozen

In its truth

And simplicity

Contained within

And experienced

Witnessed

As an incredulous marvel

Through its image.

Illusion

Singing away the clean melody

Only replicated by the seas

Where winds rescue the waves from each other

Simmer and flow

From one to the next

Feeling the delicate spray across his face

From the seas who shake hands with the rocks

He stands within the scene

Understanding its illusion

Its' substituting for the truth

The skies freeze in the shades of black

The dark of the night

The sheet of twinkling sprinkled across the charcoal expanse

It's real

Yet it's not

Just like the air around him

This, with it's partner, the mist

Capturing swirls and waves

Through and through

In and out of its fabric

To quell itself into bouts of silence

Where everyone just pauses

And purses

To enliven the contrast

Between their activity and temperance.

He watches it slow

And shake up its pace

And sleep down again

Into a wistful bliss

Be he is not fooled

By its simplicity

Nor beauty

Nor grace

Nor touch.

He knows the truth

The one that lingers within

And tempers this existence with that

He stays aware

And completes it in his mind

That the truth is only One

No matter how solid its alternative may seem

He knows

That each particle is an illusion

Despite its density
Despite its sense

And he can persist

In the purity of his knowledge

Unoblique

Undivided

Without the illusion of feeling

To be absorbed into the Source

As each piece of existence

From this false plane

To gather on the other side

As equal as he was meant to be

Solid

Only in truth

And meaning.

Oh Tear Ones

"Please help me weep," she asked the tears

"It's not fair that you fill me so

Let me redeem my sanity in exchange

For the hurt you carry

And need to express.

Listen
Even the clouds offload

The rain outside is playing her music

To coat my sobs

And pull a curtain over the silence.

You have nothing to fear, oh Tear Ones

No one will discover where you fell

Or of your passage

They hold wisdom not

Of your existence so far

From oblivion you will emerge

And into oblivion you will sink

These hands will wipe away

And remnants of the trails you leave behind

Please

Just come

Sing
Weep."

For The Solitary Heart

Exempt me from this anguish

I strive to seek another realm

Where prejudice is illusionary

And humanity occupies swift distinction.

Where pity is not a substitute for compassion

And strength reigns

Centering all

Resolutely within.

Where pretense is an impostor

Unable to hijack your senses

And jealousy wilts

In the aura of this space.

Where judgement is just

In discrimination

And reason

And left to the Supreme

Unfettered.

Let me be swallowed

Into the channels of this haven

And dwell unrestrained

Without fear

Of abandonment

Or disintegration.

Let this render refuge

For the Solitary Heart

Where love can ride the seas of the Soul

Bound into the skies of the mind

Conquer the passion of this being

And recede into the serenity of the Spirit

Soak up this brilliance

Shining on the inside

Be fortified in its calm

And reside here

Reinforced.

Your Love Was Never Mine To Own

You spoke to my heart by your smile and touch

Your seeds of affection here were sown

It took me so long to realize, my love

Your love was never mine to own.

You'd sigh each time I'd stroke your hair

Like it meant something special to you

Was it my imagination? Was I mistaken?

Was it even remotely true?

You'd hold me so close when we'd embrace

So much closer than what was normal

Why does it feel so different now?

So impersonal, so strained, so terribly formal?

Your eyes would speak, they'd carry a depth

Of a closeness never else shown

Why are they so intensely empty now?

Was that understanding purely on loan?

How can you just halt what you're feeling?

How can you just erase it so clean?

It makes me wonder if it was even real

How can it de-exist? How can it never have been?

I couldn't have fallen in love with you faster

It was so expertly, so brilliantly played

You succeeded in pulling off this disaster

And still convinced me that you were betrayed

You left me to wither, to shrivel, and carry

The burden of a breaking heart

You were content slinking around in the background

Watching, uncaring, as it crumbled apart

You spoke to my heart by your smile and touch

Your seeds of affection here were sown

It took me so long to realize, my love

Your love was never mine to own.

This Unparalleled Miracle

Transparent sound

Gliding through my veins

Accompanied by the potent light

Solid in strength

Stretching out

Rivering through each particle of my being

Unseen

Through the essence of thought.

It flows

Carpeting its path

Making the winter of its trail obscure

Leaving behind a rush of prose

In beams

Smiling

As it were

To complete the oblique

And restore the splintered.

Polishing the coarse

Unrefined

And inexperienced

This Force glows

Penetrating the damaged

With its magical balm

Riding through the cracks

Soothing them

Sealing them

Healing them as it passes.

The longer it courses

Its strength builds

Incorporating the hurt and pain

That it collects along the way

Swallowing it to it's own being

Assimilated and converted

Twirling along

With this intense radiant illumination

To reverberate

Undistinguished

Gaining resolute support

Generated through the belief

That something so powerful

Truly is greater than the sum of its parts.

Each of its incarnates

Are stemmed from the same source

Together

They resonate with the brilliance of a billion suns

Shimmering over a billion galaxies

Individually

They blaze with the same intensity

No less equal

Than each stream bundled into one.

It exists to exist,

Without substitute,

To surround.

It can be split only to remain undivided

Breathing itself gently

Into the hearts that care - 

Willingly.

It pervades each particle of its surroundings

Serenading Life

Its Truths

And quintessence

Through its mystery.

How it functions

Is known

Yet

It is discovered

In each instance of its rise

Unwittingly.

We may never conquer it

But it will always render victory

With its surrender

And transform us

Inside out

Each one

Uniquely

Through its presence

Through its existence

Through its experience

This Unparalleled Miracle called

Love.