Hawas

Solid in the darkness
Shadows crept upon the light
She can't turn to liquid or dust
Or waver in the wind
Opting to merge with it or accept all it offers.
Can wind really carry this lust -
Soaked
Drenched
From the trenches of skin?

Flesh is too deep to convey
The featherweight of the fire.
It weighs so dragging
Yet only encompasses breadth like sound
Empty in matter
Yet saturated in existence.
It is a way to live
But not the only way
And such a cost of time
From the mind.
To slither through the silken sheets
Once released
That is its actual spending -
In currency of the body
Through the vessel of the skin
To sink as it rises further
Deeper to the peaks of ecstasy.

Apples
Caresses
Grapes twirling down a long vine
A lingered touch
A long slow breath -
Let it whisper this plenty
While you surrender your senses
To the quicksand that is
This insatiable longing
Absent of Love,
Blind passion
Slave to the carnal fury
Dwelling at the surface
Of a sweltering heat
Building within,
Only to break
In the realization
That this is a fraternal echo
Of your authentic desire
To be held
Like you are the only one
To make her feel alive in your warmth
That resonates from the riverbed of your heart
To let her being seep into yours
Like a whispering rain
To know the dance of the sensual from the false
To finally arrive
At the blissful union
Of two becoming one.

To Be Embraced Like That

Do you know what it is like to be held
Close, and tender
An all encompassing embrace?

The kind where your hearts align
And suddenly you feel an incredible expanse
As though you feel the whole Universe between you two
Emanating out...

The kind which surrounds you with warmth
And pours it within
Reaching a deeper dimension
Where it doesn't stay limited to a physical feeling

The kind where you're so connected your Souls touch
To exist untouched by anything else
In a consortium of joy
Love, and exalted harmony.

Where you actually feel what it is to lose yourself in the moment
In that feeling
In the sheer breadth of that space in time
Experience the moment live and breathe with you
And gently sigh with the weight of the shared calm you both hold.

To be embraced like that

Clasped,

To live like that, in a compound moment -

I think that's what we need.

For The Solitary Heart

Exempt me from this anguish

I strive to seek another realm

Where prejudice is illusionary

And humanity occupies swift distinction.

Where pity is not a substitute for compassion

And strength reigns

Centering all

Resolutely within.

Where pretense is an impostor

Unable to hijack your senses

And jealousy wilts

In the aura of this space.

Where judgement is just

In discrimination

And reason

And left to the Supreme

Unfettered.

Let me be swallowed

Into the channels of this haven

And dwell unrestrained

Without fear

Of abandonment

Or disintegration.

Let this render refuge

For the Solitary Heart

Where love can ride the seas of the Soul

Bound into the skies of the mind

Conquer the passion of this being

And recede into the serenity of the Spirit

Soak up this brilliance

Shining on the inside

Be fortified in its calm

And reside here

Reinforced.

Your Love Was Never Mine To Own

You spoke to my heart by your smile and touch

Your seeds of affection here were sown

It took me so long to realize, my love

Your love was never mine to own.

You'd sigh each time I'd stroke your hair

Like it meant something special to you

Was it my imagination? Was I mistaken?

Was it even remotely true?

You'd hold me so close when we'd embrace

So much closer than what was normal

Why does it feel so different now?

So impersonal, so strained, so terribly formal?

Your eyes would speak, they'd carry a depth

Of a closeness never else shown

Why are they so intensely empty now?

Was that understanding purely on loan?

How can you just halt what you're feeling?

How can you just erase it so clean?

It makes me wonder if it was even real

How can it de-exist? How can it never have been?

I couldn't have fallen in love with you faster

It was so expertly, so brilliantly played

You succeeded in pulling off this disaster

And still convinced me that you were betrayed

You left me to wither, to shrivel, and carry

The burden of a breaking heart

You were content slinking around in the background

Watching, uncaring, as it crumbled apart

You spoke to my heart by your smile and touch

Your seeds of affection here were sown

It took me so long to realize, my love

Your love was never mine to own.

Broken By A Broken Heart

Her cry was a shadow of a whisper
As she eagled out in a patch of sand
Across from the resplendent ocean
Cupped by its grains on the hearth
Trying to feel its sympathy
Embellished in the moonlight.

She hid her tears from the winds
Who continually attempted to discover them
And she restrained from crying out to the waves
For, despite their intrigued interest
There was no solace to be encountered.

She could only empty out
Within herself
And into the vacuum of silence
Rising in her heart
She crumbled
Wondering
If she would ever sprout forth
Out
Again.

She could not bear to think of him again
Yet could hear his voice everytime the winds shuffled by
Her heart began to foster an ache
Which slowly veined out to her entire being
Engulfing her
Holding her captive
Searing through
Crippling her.

She stared blankly to the ocean
The waves reflected his twinkling eyes
His infectious smile..
Memories of him came flashing by
Each more sweet than the last
But now they burned her
And she felt as though they torched her heart
With each tender frame.

She had to console her heart
And persuade it to detach
From each phrase of these memories
Each note
For now, he felt like a 'never'
From a possible 'maybe.'

It was like teaching her heart to beat
All over again
This time without automatically sending out her love to him
With each pump.
Reprogrammed
Just to beat
For existence
Into a life she never thought would result.

She could still feel remnants of his love
It now resembled varnish waiting to dry
A hazard to all it touched
Yet everything that touched it assimilated into it
Absorbed
Willingly or not.
She found herself puzzled
At how something that once made her swell with profound joy
Now almost destroyed her so.

She loved him
And he loved her
Then how did the pieces not fit?

She let the will to search for the answer escape her
Like surrendering to the depth of the well
Right now she must unclutch her hand from his
And swim to the safety and stability of the land.

She could only now cradle her heart
Nurture it
And attempt to mend its crippled exterior
How she could pursue to furnish it again was a question to be answered another day.

Today, she will just sprinkle herself out among the fine sands
And wait...

Compass

Your Soul's Compass
Is your Heart.

There are countless paths
And each path follows another
Or merges
And diverges
And twirls and circles around
Or angles out and changes.
It is always confusing
But your Heart knows what's right
And leads you on
Because within this instrument
All directions are one
And with the Soul's Wisdom
All is conquered.

The last thing to ever feel, is lost
Because just like you are never truly alone
You are never truly lost.
Each direction is a path
And you can only see the first few steps in front of you
Not the end.
Not in the beginning, anyway.

Each path is to be travelled
And right now, there's no knowing what's in store.
But there's no need to worry
Or to be afraid
Because there is no wrong choice.
No matter what path you chose
There will be good times
And there will the be the not-so-good.
It solely depends on you
What you make of each moment on that path.

Sometimes you feel lost even though you've chosen a path
But your Compass is truly your guide.
It will show you your strength
When you need to go on.
It will call upon Love
When you feel all alone.
It will summon Hope
When you look around and see nothing.
It will show you the Light
And you will know what is important.
Ultimately, that's all you'll ever need.

In each challenge lies the seed of opportunity.
In each opportunity lies the potential of the World.
Tap into that Energy
Trust in your Heart
Follow your Compass
And that's when the answer shall come
And "lost" will bear no meaning to you anymore.

A Heart's Story

A shadow of light was cast
But a Heart was being covered
Like the rain clouds cover the sun
Weeping endless drops of rain.
'Twas as if that Heart had cried
Cried itself dim
Cried itself weak
Cried itself to sleep.
But awoke with fury of pain
Awoke with rage of hurt
For it was not guilty of crime
It was not guilty of crime.
It's only sin was - it had Loved.
Loved with no conditions
Loved with no regrets
For bold was this Heart
But innocence was not lost
And it Loved with no fear
Of the terror to meet it yet.
Watching Eyes narrowed
For they did not believe
What wonders this Heart
So in Love could achieve.
Far beyond their thoughts
Far, far away
This Heart's Love knew magic
But knew not how to say
The magical words of Love
The beauty that lies within
To all those who accused it
Of the so-called sin.
Lost in a haze of mist
It wandered, crushed, with no aim
When upon it came
A Heart of the same
Sorrow, misery and pain.
Learned was this new Heart -
It knew the ways of the world
And it preached to it's new friend
How to be strong
How to have faith
How to prove to those watching eyes
That it was not wrong.
From the Heart that had confided
This Heart learned fast
And it quickly decided
To fight till the last.
Times had been harsh
But this brave Heart knew
That it had to be strong
And it soon so grew.
Pouring Love into it's core
Enriching itself even more
Feeling day by day, for sure
Fresh and brand new.
So on followed, till a time came
When this Heart was full of Love
So full, it could not contain
And showered it from above.
It fell gently from the skies
Penetrating those Narrow Eyes
And made them wise
By destroying their lies
Of the evils of Love
And the wonder of hate
For this Heart had created
What no one could before create.
The Watching Eyes soon watched again
But not like they had before
They watched with Love from that time then -
And hate was erased from the core.
Victorious was this Heart
And so it was
For it -
It had seen the sign.
But this Heart had a secret
A deep, dark secret
For this Heart -
This Heart was mine.

[Written: 14th January 2002]