Could You Hold Me Whilst I Weep?

Could you hold me whilst I weep?
My being requires to crumble
To splinter
Utterly shatter
Before it can phoenix again.

My heart has clutched on to strength too long
Scotch-taping itself at every instance
Bleeding through the cracks
Yet soldiering on
Silently
Lest someone suspect anything.

'Tis a monumental task
To breathe while your breath is leaking
And maintain pretense
That all is traveling well.
'Tis like shouldering a mountain
Balancing each layer of hardened tears
And painting a smile
On a struggling face.

I've just been holding on
To each fragment
Each thread
Each microscopic piece
Of the web of intertwined responsibilities,
Even to the intangible pressure
Of the building pain
Whilst they all pulled at me from impossible directions.
I had to.
I couldn't allow collapse
Even momentarily.
The only thing to do
Was to consciously take a step
And then another
And another -
Forward.
Bending,
Only to not break.

But now
The timer has gone off
The effort can cease
I can trough
I must
To being the process to crest again.

All I ask is
Could you hold me whilst I weep?

Your Love Was Never Mine To Own

You spoke to my heart by your smile and touch

Your seeds of affection here were sown

It took me so long to realize, my love

Your love was never mine to own.

You'd sigh each time I'd stroke your hair

Like it meant something special to you

Was it my imagination? Was I mistaken?

Was it even remotely true?

You'd hold me so close when we'd embrace

So much closer than what was normal

Why does it feel so different now?

So impersonal, so strained, so terribly formal?

Your eyes would speak, they'd carry a depth

Of a closeness never else shown

Why are they so intensely empty now?

Was that understanding purely on loan?

How can you just halt what you're feeling?

How can you just erase it so clean?

It makes me wonder if it was even real

How can it de-exist? How can it never have been?

I couldn't have fallen in love with you faster

It was so expertly, so brilliantly played

You succeeded in pulling off this disaster

And still convinced me that you were betrayed

You left me to wither, to shrivel, and carry

The burden of a breaking heart

You were content slinking around in the background

Watching, uncaring, as it crumbled apart

You spoke to my heart by your smile and touch

Your seeds of affection here were sown

It took me so long to realize, my love

Your love was never mine to own.