Could You Hold Me Whilst I Weep?

Could you hold me whilst I weep?
My being requires to crumble
To splinter
Utterly shatter
Before it can phoenix again.

My heart has clutched on to strength too long
Scotch-taping itself at every instance
Bleeding through the cracks
Yet soldiering on
Silently
Lest someone suspect anything.

'Tis a monumental task
To breathe while your breath is leaking
And maintain pretense
That all is traveling well.
'Tis like shouldering a mountain
Balancing each layer of hardened tears
And painting a smile
On a struggling face.

I've just been holding on
To each fragment
Each thread
Each microscopic piece
Of the web of intertwined responsibilities,
Even to the intangible pressure
Of the building pain
Whilst they all pulled at me from impossible directions.
I had to.
I couldn't allow collapse
Even momentarily.
The only thing to do
Was to consciously take a step
And then another
And another -
Forward.
Bending,
Only to not break.

But now
The timer has gone off
The effort can cease
I can trough
I must
To being the process to crest again.

All I ask is
Could you hold me whilst I weep?

Shades of Grey

Can we be shades of grey
I want to live in your spectrum
Rejoice in the sunlight of your smile
And to wipe away your frown
When you're trapped in anger
Can I swim in your peace
And we can divide the melancholy bits
Can we live it all
Without having to choose
Can we be simple and complex
Can we be shades of grey?

Would you let me in
When you're feigning bravery
And let me shoulder some of your pain
You don't have to do this alone
Let yourself fall
And allow me to gather your fragile fragments
I'll piece you back together
With my love and strength as the glue.
And I'll be your banister as long as you need one
No matter how steep your life's stairs are
And don't be a fool
You need someone to hold on to
Just don't fight it
And hold on to me
I will see you through

Let us quarrel
Argue till we're spent.
Go ahead
Cut me with your words
Let it out
Let me be your release
It's OK
I'll get back up again

Grant me audience to your laughter
I will sync my smile with yours
I will fuel your amusement
And afford you further reason to chuckle.
And the sun may set
And rise beyond the morning
But we will be constant
In mirth
I guarantee it

Come
I have happiness to spare
Let us bask in the breadth of this joy
And let it envelop us
Till we don't know where I end and you begin.
We can fly
On this magic carpet of bliss
Such a things exists
And I will take you there

And when you're cold
And weak
And falling out of strength
Unlock the door
I will surround you with my care
And heal you back to stability.
There is no disease
That my love can't cure
And I will lay me down
So that you can stand back up

When you crave stillness
I will halt
When you desire solitude
I will disappear
I understand space and silence
And how it will replenish you
I will give you what you want
Even if I can't give it to you

If I feel you, I feel it all
It can't be just the merriment
Or the misery alone
And I don't want to choose
To only love you
Or not to love you at all.

Can we not be black and white?
Can we be shades of grey?

Determination

To breathe, and to be free
Unburdened by the pressures of worry
To arrest the clout
That may have stored itself
In barnacles of uncertainty
And dejection,
To elate
The Spirit and the senses
So they may relish the exhilaration
Of being born
In this here and now,
To strangle fear
In its tracks
And reject rejection
No more submission to abuse
Inflicted or derived
Rebel against their currents
And stretch into a new subsistence
Laser sharp strength
Resilient and focused
To conquer
And sublimate
To rely, unwithholding -
On Courage, unsuppressed
On Faith, concentrated
On Breath, unfiltered
To never submit
To a lesser force
Or external force
To weakness
Or impatience
But to soldier on
Driven by resolve
By passion
Bordering on obsession
To wash out superstition
Desperation
Accusations
And so-called warnings
Fed by ignorant minds
And lead on
Further on that path
Where your strength fires you on.
You don't give up
Because it is everything that you succeed
Imperative.
Your Soul will offer
And accept
Nothing less.
When this Light is guiding you
You will reach that summit
That destination of brilliance
Because this determination
Composed from such a source
Will deliver no less.

Windcheater

No more scars to be etched

Within the flesh of my raw emotional armour

I wear my windcheater against your words

Your whip and sword

And watch your might dilute.

Staring into your eyes

I no longer see the black

The unfiltered darkness

The curses of the world,

The rain of comprehension

Has drained my eyes clean

There's no mirror in your eyes anymore

My heart doesnt beat through your gaze anymore

Nor do the seasons rise and fall

Rivers breathe and flow

Winds bend and break...

Mysteries aren't wonderous anymore

No more

Not those represented lies

There are no more valiant acted-battles

Nor are there false tributes

To your trust in me

At least I learned

And learned to repair

Before the flood of this betrayal

Massacred my ability to reboot my heart and mind

Refresh and reload

Before the concrete set.

Innocence in its depth

Love in all its brilliance

Mirth from all its infinite quarters

Were poured back into my core

The dirt of the pain

The torture

Was decanted

And dusted

With all the apprehension and suspended confusion

To regenerate

Rebuild

Replenish

Burn forward and out

Into a continuation

A divine oblivion

Restored.

For The Solitary Heart

Exempt me from this anguish

I strive to seek another realm

Where prejudice is illusionary

And humanity occupies swift distinction.

Where pity is not a substitute for compassion

And strength reigns

Centering all

Resolutely within.

Where pretense is an impostor

Unable to hijack your senses

And jealousy wilts

In the aura of this space.

Where judgement is just

In discrimination

And reason

And left to the Supreme

Unfettered.

Let me be swallowed

Into the channels of this haven

And dwell unrestrained

Without fear

Of abandonment

Or disintegration.

Let this render refuge

For the Solitary Heart

Where love can ride the seas of the Soul

Bound into the skies of the mind

Conquer the passion of this being

And recede into the serenity of the Spirit

Soak up this brilliance

Shining on the inside

Be fortified in its calm

And reside here

Reinforced.

Triumph

Swinging in the seas
Knocking around the twirling waves
Splintering as the water churns
Sputtering as the crest comes to rest, momentarily

Tossed and spurned
He grasps and gurgles
Waiting for the air to unchoke him
And free him from his suspension in this uncertainty

Blinking away the unreal tears
He attempts to find a parting in the water
To regain some balance
From the swaying of the sea

Assembling his bold quotient
He plucks strength from each quarter
He displaces the fear attempting to shatter him
And grabs a handful of the waves

Wrestling with this beautiful, fierce Beast
He fends off the swells with astonishing courage
Not providing consent to let himself collapse
He enlightens the unsuspecting surges with his intense might

Battling it out, he thrashes and whirls
Unrelenting and determined
The sea tries every trick she knows
But against his will, she is inadequate

Slowly, she concedes, quietly
And admits that her competition conquered her
Fair and square
Despite being only a fraction of her intimidating size

She never encountered another like him
Who refused to relent
And admired his display of valor and courage
Learning from him in the process

She swims away, defeated
But transformed by the experience
And the victor breathes to see another day
Flourishing in the release of his Triumph.