Could You Hold Me Whilst I Weep?

Could you hold me whilst I weep?
My being requires to crumble
To splinter
Utterly shatter
Before it can phoenix again.

My heart has clutched on to strength too long
Scotch-taping itself at every instance
Bleeding through the cracks
Yet soldiering on
Silently
Lest someone suspect anything.

'Tis a monumental task
To breathe while your breath is leaking
And maintain pretense
That all is traveling well.
'Tis like shouldering a mountain
Balancing each layer of hardened tears
And painting a smile
On a struggling face.

I've just been holding on
To each fragment
Each thread
Each microscopic piece
Of the web of intertwined responsibilities,
Even to the intangible pressure
Of the building pain
Whilst they all pulled at me from impossible directions.
I had to.
I couldn't allow collapse
Even momentarily.
The only thing to do
Was to consciously take a step
And then another
And another -
Forward.
Bending,
Only to not break.

But now
The timer has gone off
The effort can cease
I can trough
I must
To being the process to crest again.

All I ask is
Could you hold me whilst I weep?

Shades of Grey

Can we be shades of grey
I want to live in your spectrum
Rejoice in the sunlight of your smile
And to wipe away your frown
When you're trapped in anger
Can I swim in your peace
And we can divide the melancholy bits
Can we live it all
Without having to choose
Can we be simple and complex
Can we be shades of grey?

Would you let me in
When you're feigning bravery
And let me shoulder some of your pain
You don't have to do this alone
Let yourself fall
And allow me to gather your fragile fragments
I'll piece you back together
With my love and strength as the glue.
And I'll be your banister as long as you need one
No matter how steep your life's stairs are
And don't be a fool
You need someone to hold on to
Just don't fight it
And hold on to me
I will see you through

Let us quarrel
Argue till we're spent.
Go ahead
Cut me with your words
Let it out
Let me be your release
It's OK
I'll get back up again

Grant me audience to your laughter
I will sync my smile with yours
I will fuel your amusement
And afford you further reason to chuckle.
And the sun may set
And rise beyond the morning
But we will be constant
In mirth
I guarantee it

Come
I have happiness to spare
Let us bask in the breadth of this joy
And let it envelop us
Till we don't know where I end and you begin.
We can fly
On this magic carpet of bliss
Such a things exists
And I will take you there

And when you're cold
And weak
And falling out of strength
Unlock the door
I will surround you with my care
And heal you back to stability.
There is no disease
That my love can't cure
And I will lay me down
So that you can stand back up

When you crave stillness
I will halt
When you desire solitude
I will disappear
I understand space and silence
And how it will replenish you
I will give you what you want
Even if I can't give it to you

If I feel you, I feel it all
It can't be just the merriment
Or the misery alone
And I don't want to choose
To only love you
Or not to love you at all.

Can we not be black and white?
Can we be shades of grey?