Sunday 16 May 2010

Drifting In A Variable Universe

Blending into the walls
She seems to penetrate the realm
Between visibility and existence
Matching the wallpaper of the situation
Merging into its design.

Swept away by her chameleon feelings
She whimpered many a night
Distant from herself
Craving to fuse with an entity
Any entity
In the plain hope that she may feel solid again.

Dreams intertwine with each other
And with what appears to be fact
Crossing over the dimensions of the unconscious
Well beyond
Creating a novel fusion of realities
Proving the act of its deciphering
A devouring task
Flanked between what she feels and what she thinks she sees.

She is drifting in a variable universe
Uprooted from all that she knew to be authentic
Coasting along
Aware
Yet lost
Amidst the sincere uncertainty
Not knowing when this vision she's participating in
Will choose to mold itself again
Casting her into another unknown field of dreamlike wilderness.

Floating away into an abyss of change
Her life now resembles an ever sustaining pirouette
A coin tossing in the air
And her futile attempts to study it in motion
To gauge its result
Assuming, of course, that it does land
At some point.

She may gravitate towards the black holes of doubt
Those deceiving, all consuming black holes
But except for their magnetism
The hold not strength
And only display a facade of an ability to vanquish.
She must be wary, however
For they filter through the layers of the universe
Changing their spots
Their loyalties
And each next endeavour to hoodwink her
Could become her undoing.

She's fallen for many a fickle heart
Blinded by her own inexperience
Hoping the next would be different
And that she would feel at least an ounce of love
Exhausted, she resigns to the vacuum
Lingering
Desiring desperately to approach any sign of sanity
Drifting
Shifting..

She wishes to be exempted from the unpredictability
Of this wavering universe and its alternates
She's become a soluble ingredient
In its churning and swallowing
But still sees no finished product being fashioned.

Her search for a stable shoulder to lean on
Is as spread out as this universe
And it is hard to wrap her head around the concept of seamless transformation
Let alone get used to the idea.

She has nothing to clutch on to
But for her undying faith
That whatever circumstances stalk her
No matter how blatant
She will find an escape -
An ultimate redemption.