Falling In

Twirling in the shadows
Found in a pool of shade
Frivolous in the obscurity
A ballerina of the oblivion
I am but a speck within this intangible grey
And yet its very essence
A delightful paradox in my own existence.

This vessel half full
Having spilt the shadows from the light
Offers unspoken refuge
Or unflinching release
The seconds linger in a pondered moment.. Do I fly?
Or drift, unmoven

Sometimes I think falling in is the only way out.

Hawas

Solid in the darkness
Shadows crept upon the light
She can't turn to liquid or dust
Or waver in the wind
Opting to merge with it or accept all it offers.
Can wind really carry this lust -
Soaked
Drenched
From the trenches of skin?

Flesh is too deep to convey
The featherweight of the fire.
It weighs so dragging
Yet only encompasses breadth like sound
Empty in matter
Yet saturated in existence.
It is a way to live
But not the only way
And such a cost of time
From the mind.
To slither through the silken sheets
Once released
That is its actual spending -
In currency of the body
Through the vessel of the skin
To sink as it rises further
Deeper to the peaks of ecstasy.

Apples
Caresses
Grapes twirling down a long vine
A lingered touch
A long slow breath -
Let it whisper this plenty
While you surrender your senses
To the quicksand that is
This insatiable longing
Absent of Love,
Blind passion
Slave to the carnal fury
Dwelling at the surface
Of a sweltering heat
Building within,
Only to break
In the realization
That this is a fraternal echo
Of your authentic desire
To be held
Like you are the only one
To make her feel alive in your warmth
That resonates from the riverbed of your heart
To let her being seep into yours
Like a whispering rain
To know the dance of the sensual from the false
To finally arrive
At the blissful union
Of two becoming one.

To Be Embraced Like That

Do you know what it is like to be held
Close, and tender
An all encompassing embrace?

The kind where your hearts align
And suddenly you feel an incredible expanse
As though you feel the whole Universe between you two
Emanating out...

The kind which surrounds you with warmth
And pours it within
Reaching a deeper dimension
Where it doesn't stay limited to a physical feeling

The kind where you're so connected your Souls touch
To exist untouched by anything else
In a consortium of joy
Love, and exalted harmony.

Where you actually feel what it is to lose yourself in the moment
In that feeling
In the sheer breadth of that space in time
Experience the moment live and breathe with you
And gently sigh with the weight of the shared calm you both hold.

To be embraced like that

Clasped,

To live like that, in a compound moment -

I think that's what we need.

Could You Hold Me Whilst I Weep?

Could you hold me whilst I weep?
My being requires to crumble
To splinter
Utterly shatter
Before it can phoenix again.

My heart has clutched on to strength too long
Scotch-taping itself at every instance
Bleeding through the cracks
Yet soldiering on
Silently
Lest someone suspect anything.

'Tis a monumental task
To breathe while your breath is leaking
And maintain pretense
That all is traveling well.
'Tis like shouldering a mountain
Balancing each layer of hardened tears
And painting a smile
On a struggling face.

I've just been holding on
To each fragment
Each thread
Each microscopic piece
Of the web of intertwined responsibilities,
Even to the intangible pressure
Of the building pain
Whilst they all pulled at me from impossible directions.
I had to.
I couldn't allow collapse
Even momentarily.
The only thing to do
Was to consciously take a step
And then another
And another -
Forward.
Bending,
Only to not break.

But now
The timer has gone off
The effort can cease
I can trough
I must
To being the process to crest again.

All I ask is
Could you hold me whilst I weep?

Shades of Grey

Can we be shades of grey
I want to live in your spectrum
Rejoice in the sunlight of your smile
And to wipe away your frown
When you're trapped in anger
Can I swim in your peace
And we can divide the melancholy bits
Can we live it all
Without having to choose
Can we be simple and complex
Can we be shades of grey?

Would you let me in
When you're feigning bravery
And let me shoulder some of your pain
You don't have to do this alone
Let yourself fall
And allow me to gather your fragile fragments
I'll piece you back together
With my love and strength as the glue.
And I'll be your banister as long as you need one
No matter how steep your life's stairs are
And don't be a fool
You need someone to hold on to
Just don't fight it
And hold on to me
I will see you through

Let us quarrel
Argue till we're spent.
Go ahead
Cut me with your words
Let it out
Let me be your release
It's OK
I'll get back up again

Grant me audience to your laughter
I will sync my smile with yours
I will fuel your amusement
And afford you further reason to chuckle.
And the sun may set
And rise beyond the morning
But we will be constant
In mirth
I guarantee it

Come
I have happiness to spare
Let us bask in the breadth of this joy
And let it envelop us
Till we don't know where I end and you begin.
We can fly
On this magic carpet of bliss
Such a things exists
And I will take you there

And when you're cold
And weak
And falling out of strength
Unlock the door
I will surround you with my care
And heal you back to stability.
There is no disease
That my love can't cure
And I will lay me down
So that you can stand back up

When you crave stillness
I will halt
When you desire solitude
I will disappear
I understand space and silence
And how it will replenish you
I will give you what you want
Even if I can't give it to you

If I feel you, I feel it all
It can't be just the merriment
Or the misery alone
And I don't want to choose
To only love you
Or not to love you at all.

Can we not be black and white?
Can we be shades of grey?

Clever Old Chap, Isn't He?

I'd like to purchase some time
To render it as a gift
To a loved one
So they may spend it as they please.

Can you guide me to the Time Office?
Oh, you can't? You're getting late?
How delightfully ironic... (Chuckle chuckle)
It's a shame how we allow
All these useless 'necessities' to fill our time space
We can't get enough work done during the day
And begin digging it out from the night
We leave the night behind
Only to wake and join the race again
Deplete our breath and our hours.

We can always make time, right?
For the things that matter?
Oh, now I'm making you laugh?
Does time even matter?
We're content to spend the wealth we accumulate
Yet don't realize
The lengths of time being run through
And spent
We can't accumulate time
To spend at leisure
What a delicious paradox...

It's so mysterious
How we can't exist without time
Where would we be?
We couldn't be born
To gather age
And experience
Forgo tragedies and heartbreaks
Allowing time to heal those wounds...
We couldn't count the hours getting longer
As the the sun stretches the Summer days
And splashes the warmth in our faces.
No, we can't be without His Highness.

But how frivolously easy it is for him to go on without a conscious thought
He can bleat for a flash of a second
Yet he can rule for centuries on end
He exists in eras
And eons, counted by the days
He doesn't even blink
When we've joined him
Lived in his ecstasy,
Or surrendered his presence
When our physicality drops...

I'm sure he records everything somewhere
And secretly flips through those pages
For a spot of entertainment
At some point in time..
Oh wait...
That doesn't make sense, does it?

And when we're not looking
He'll have some fun of his own
He'll hasten his pace, hare inspired
Or crawl no quicker than that darned tortoise
Playing both entities
Yet making us the players in the race
His game

Clever old chap, isn't he?

And if you question him
I'm sure he'll wear a straight face
While he guffaws in amusement on the inside

He's a sly one, he is
Yet the only one
Who is truly with us
From the second we arrive to the second we depart.
Maybe if he'd cut us a break from time to time...
Tsk
Oh dear, I've done it again...

Wiley old fellow is he
Causing us entrapment in his games
But you have to hand it to him
He's always synchronized, eh?

Alright, alright, you get back to your musings
Thanks for lending an ear, though.

Oh, you weren't?

Of Source And Soul

Seek not and realize not
Divide and scatter the mind
Abandon its sense despite the senses
And let it wander around blind

Attempt not to deconstruct that
Which was created to exist as one
It bore transformation, yet altered not
Its essence can't be undone

Let the faculties perceive the beyond
And realize an end lacking
Standing in a perpetual Now
Without the edges cracking

It is alive, but imitating life
It's like a universe, without the changing
It is sustaining on shared breath
Without the constant rearranging

Its expanse derives from its eternity
It is a Now, it was Now even then
It births from a Now to dissipate into a Now
And loops back to Now once again

Protracted into greater glory
The Collective Soul shines
The Source of all that emanates
Through distance covered in time

Projected truth in a solid dimension
Assimilated by transparent rays
Allow the immersion from the Within to the Source
Transitioned through timeless days

Arrive to exist, as part of the assembly
Your Nature is now Divine
You are surrounded and built of Source and Soul
Merged into One, sublime.