Different

How much longer can she survive
Living behind those fake smiles
And polite conversations
Tuning her words
The manner her peers deem fit
Resculpting her likes and dislikes
In the attempt to merge
Into her circle of 'friends?'

How long can she allow the swells of music
To act as a shelter to her grief
And mask her sobs
As each tear squeezes her heart vacant?
How long can she just exist
Before she loses her identity altogether?

How long?

Will she ever get to break into a smile again
The way she used to
At something as simple as a bird taking flight
Or the wind, gently rocking the leaves shining in the sun
Or just because the sky is so blue?

Will she be able to unburden herself
From being someone who sits quietly when the song in her heart quivers for release
From speaking a language rudimentary, when her mind wants to speak the algorithms of life
From having to be formal and proper when all she wants to do is jive
Will she ever be allowed to be herself?
Unattacked?
Unjudged?
Unaltered?
Unsmothered?

Being so pestered that she's different
She's forced to turn into someone different from herself
Give her a chance
Before she turns indifferent

If she can accept you
Unquestioned
Why cant you do the same with her?

Tears Of A Child

No dont let him cry
This Angel of a boy
Whose complexion of love is so pure
Untarnished
By judgement
By reason
Unconditional.

Dont let him cry
And shed those drops in pain
When the cause is irrelevant
To his comprehension
And his lament.

The mirror of his Soul is so clean
No dusty layer
Of experience
Of mistakes
Of regrets
Of shame.
Not yet.
Let him be in this state
Vacant
In blissful being
And unburdened
Before Time wings him away
And his eyes begin to reflect another story.

Let him rest
As he does now
Upon his Grandfathers shoulder
Pressed against his chest
Cradled in his arms
Witnessing a heartbeat
And considering it an unspoken miracle.
Let him sink
Into the love of this man
That holds him
As he grips the sleeve of his Grandfathers shirt
In his most tiny fist
And feels love through this inanimate thing
As though it shares a connection to the heartbeat.

Let him breathe
Unpressured
Unsaddled
Allowing him to believe each breath
Will link him to each moment
Unexplained
Unrestricted.

Let him rest
And not be pulled into the vortex of understanding
Of reason
Now is not the time
For now, he is innocent in his innocence
Stripped of fault
And the guilt that accompanies it.

Let him just be
Awake in existence
Leaving interpretation to the winds

Let there be no reason
For tears of a child.

Drifting In A Variable Universe

Blending into the walls
She seems to penetrate the realm
Between visibility and existence
Matching the wallpaper of the situation
Merging into its design.

Swept away by her chameleon feelings
She whimpered many a night
Distant from herself
Craving to fuse with an entity
Any entity
In the plain hope that she may feel solid again.

Dreams intertwine with each other
And with what appears to be fact
Crossing over the dimensions of the unconscious
Well beyond
Creating a novel fusion of realities
Proving the act of its deciphering
A devouring task
Flanked between what she feels and what she thinks she sees.

She is drifting in a variable universe
Uprooted from all that she knew to be authentic
Coasting along
Aware
Yet lost
Amidst the sincere uncertainty
Not knowing when this vision she's participating in
Will choose to mold itself again
Casting her into another unknown field of dreamlike wilderness.

Floating away into an abyss of change
Her life now resembles an ever sustaining pirouette
A coin tossing in the air
And her futile attempts to study it in motion
To gauge its result
Assuming, of course, that it does land
At some point.

She may gravitate towards the black holes of doubt
Those deceiving, all consuming black holes
But except for their magnetism
The hold not strength
And only display a facade of an ability to vanquish.
She must be wary, however
For they filter through the layers of the universe
Changing their spots
Their loyalties
And each next endeavour to hoodwink her
Could become her undoing.

She's fallen for many a fickle heart
Blinded by her own inexperience
Hoping the next would be different
And that she would feel at least an ounce of love
Exhausted, she resigns to the vacuum
Lingering
Desiring desperately to approach any sign of sanity
Drifting
Shifting..

She wishes to be exempted from the unpredictability
Of this wavering universe and its alternates
She's become a soluble ingredient
In its churning and swallowing
But still sees no finished product being fashioned.

Her search for a stable shoulder to lean on
Is as spread out as this universe
And it is hard to wrap her head around the concept of seamless transformation
Let alone get used to the idea.

She has nothing to clutch on to
But for her undying faith
That whatever circumstances stalk her
No matter how blatant
She will find an escape -
An ultimate redemption.

Broken By A Broken Heart

Her cry was a shadow of a whisper
As she eagled out in a patch of sand
Across from the resplendent ocean
Cupped by its grains on the hearth
Trying to feel its sympathy
Embellished in the moonlight.

She hid her tears from the winds
Who continually attempted to discover them
And she restrained from crying out to the waves
For, despite their intrigued interest
There was no solace to be encountered.

She could only empty out
Within herself
And into the vacuum of silence
Rising in her heart
She crumbled
Wondering
If she would ever sprout forth
Out
Again.

She could not bear to think of him again
Yet could hear his voice everytime the winds shuffled by
Her heart began to foster an ache
Which slowly veined out to her entire being
Engulfing her
Holding her captive
Searing through
Crippling her.

She stared blankly to the ocean
The waves reflected his twinkling eyes
His infectious smile..
Memories of him came flashing by
Each more sweet than the last
But now they burned her
And she felt as though they torched her heart
With each tender frame.

She had to console her heart
And persuade it to detach
From each phrase of these memories
Each note
For now, he felt like a 'never'
From a possible 'maybe.'

It was like teaching her heart to beat
All over again
This time without automatically sending out her love to him
With each pump.
Reprogrammed
Just to beat
For existence
Into a life she never thought would result.

She could still feel remnants of his love
It now resembled varnish waiting to dry
A hazard to all it touched
Yet everything that touched it assimilated into it
Absorbed
Willingly or not.
She found herself puzzled
At how something that once made her swell with profound joy
Now almost destroyed her so.

She loved him
And he loved her
Then how did the pieces not fit?

She let the will to search for the answer escape her
Like surrendering to the depth of the well
Right now she must unclutch her hand from his
And swim to the safety and stability of the land.

She could only now cradle her heart
Nurture it
And attempt to mend its crippled exterior
How she could pursue to furnish it again was a question to be answered another day.

Today, she will just sprinkle herself out among the fine sands
And wait...

Fear Of The First Step

What do we do to overcome fear?

The biggest fear is fear itself
Being afraid to take that first step
Or being frightened of staying in the same place...

It's like taking a dive into a pool off a diving board
Standing up there...
Frozen...
Paralyzed...
At the same time wanting time to stagnate
So that the both of you can take the plunge together
When you're ready.
But time carries on
And it's all up to you...

It's only that initial move -
Once you've flung yourself out
It simplifies instantly
And even more so when you meet the water
'Cause you've relinquished control
And follow the flow
And manipulate your movements and actions according to the breeze and the waves...

So why is it so hard to start?
Why cant we give up control when taking that first step too?

Untense

Untense
Spark
Flow like the meter winds
Drift along like the log in the stream
Sing
Whisper
Touch
Untense.

Let your flame burn
Let it scatter
Spark
Unchecked
Untamed.
Peek through that fringe once in a while
Smile at the sky
Feel the shine
Let loose the sparkle
Drink in the mercy beyond the guilt
Soften the sands of dreams that float in the vicinity
Stumble
Fall
Allow
Untense.

Let go
Swim in the ozone
Breathe in through the leaves
Undrown those aspirations
Fulfill your Destiny
The Destiny of your choice
Speak out
Unfurl
Untense.

Reach out
Front and apart
Spark out
As does a firecracker
Birthing out into the night sky.
Abandon those cages
Where you stored your feelings
Your dreams
Your love
Love for that someone
Beyond reason -
Tell him
Release
Unclench
Untense.

Unerase the mistakes
Unfault
It's ok.
Believe in the expanse
Beyond religion
Beyond meditation
Set free your heart
Let it beat
Dont flee
Unshiver
Unfear
Untense.

Scream out
Bleat
Express
Delete
Swing the axe
Deplete
Unsave
Drain
Untense.

Unkeep the dark
Syncopate
Flash the rhythm
Center the tune
Touch
Sense
Realize
Uncomplicate
Untense.

Deliver the burn
Let the comfort scorch
Dribble the passion
Untear the life.
Single out
Unfold
Brighten
Untense.

Derive
Deliver
Blossom into the air
As bubbles do when they open
Unhold withhold
Blend
Grasp
Clutch on
Untense.

Remember the moment
Caring unhatched
Served unbroken
Unaltered.

Immerse within
Relive
Release
Rebreathe
Derail the pain
Break the swelling
Reveal the white recovery
Healing the punctuated wound
Unfence
Untense.

Filter
Unsmoke
Sensitize
Unbreach
Restore
After the destruction
Crush the violence
Love Bereft
Intense
Untense.

Uncry
Rejoin
Believe
Love
Spark
Unite
Untense.

Triumph

Swinging in the seas
Knocking around the twirling waves
Splintering as the water churns
Sputtering as the crest comes to rest, momentarily

Tossed and spurned
He grasps and gurgles
Waiting for the air to unchoke him
And free him from his suspension in this uncertainty

Blinking away the unreal tears
He attempts to find a parting in the water
To regain some balance
From the swaying of the sea

Assembling his bold quotient
He plucks strength from each quarter
He displaces the fear attempting to shatter him
And grabs a handful of the waves

Wrestling with this beautiful, fierce Beast
He fends off the swells with astonishing courage
Not providing consent to let himself collapse
He enlightens the unsuspecting surges with his intense might

Battling it out, he thrashes and whirls
Unrelenting and determined
The sea tries every trick she knows
But against his will, she is inadequate

Slowly, she concedes, quietly
And admits that her competition conquered her
Fair and square
Despite being only a fraction of her intimidating size

She never encountered another like him
Who refused to relent
And admired his display of valor and courage
Learning from him in the process

She swims away, defeated
But transformed by the experience
And the victor breathes to see another day
Flourishing in the release of his Triumph.